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i'm so far pretty much done with my yearly overhaul of Dyaryoboy.com. I gave it some new 'cool' and 'playful' colors, a uniform look, organized areas, and new links. In addition, I formalized an Advertising page, plus established a survey so i can get demographics on my customers.

so when you're in need of current events, or simply don't want to memorize all the other links to philippine news and magazine site remember...as Boy Dyaryo would say...visit Dyaryoboy.com, your only source for Philippine News! hehe

please give your support - by doing more than one of the following :) 1. set www.dyaryoboy.com as your homepage 2. visit www.dyaryoboy.com at least once a day 3. tell your friends when asked about the news to go to www.dyaryoboy.com and 4. spread the link in your own pages. I have to start earning more... promise, i'll treat you guys when there's enough evidence (in bucks) to show that i've gained additional earnings... seriously i will.

extremely random thoughts

today i look back
at the days filled with ecstatic joy
the impatience for tomorrow
the strong single desire

i want to go back in time
and say what i've wanted to say
all those times, those chances
i seem to have missed, failed

everyday now comes by
with regret in mind
the thought of a lost opportunity
hounded by and tormented

good thing or bad
patience which I have endeared
seem to have taken over
dulled the desire

good thing or bad
split emotions split decisions
why must i endure this
torment and conflict

i seem to be hurting myself
instead, i should stand by
my words of optimism
tomorrow will be a new day

always look at the bright side of things
be patient, there is time
be positive there is always hope
you can do it

engulfed by one emotion
these days it's starting to brush off
is this good or bad?
answer me please

talk to me please
the two sides of the river never meet
as the river itself widens in the tears
of loneliness, deepened trenches of
sorrow and regret

i get by in instruction
my days are lived in the academe
but missing still in the desire within
that drains me with every drop

i dont know if i could ever get this out of me
just live everyday as much as you can
i try to live up to that saying
but something tells me i just am not

By hard work and faith - through adversity to the stars. - Max Soliven

decision

sino siya?

just someone i know by name
just someone i liked
just someone who wouldn't really hurt me
just someone i thought i'd know
just someone.

sino nga sya?

yeah right

shut up will you!
yeah right, like i will
it's not like i like you
yeah right, i don't?

stop showing as if you care
i don't care? yeah right
you think i'll wait forever
you think i'd wait that long?

and you think i'm not jealous?
foolish, yeah right i'm not
but yeah too bad
yeah. right.

you think its the end of the world?
ya right... i dont think so
and they don't think laughter's the best medicine..
ha, yeah right.

Excerpt from My English Essay

We often keep a record of our most precious secrets, our true emotions, and our opinions to what cannot be expressed verbally in someplace safe and personal. A common example is in keeping a journal or a diary, but nowadays the written record has transformed itself into what is now more popularly known as a blog. “Blogging” is more than just a diary or a journal, it can be a whole showcase of one’s personality and can be accessed through the public world of the Internet. With its lack of being totally kept away from the public, this new form of chronology and events logging does not always conform to the characteristics of journal writing, and presents several possibilities in which the blogger could present his or her ideas. Apart from potentially bringing out more of ourselves, blogging conceals our true character in the real world. ...

lost in lust

all of a sudden
nothing else comes to mind
but the insatiable thirst

the raging bull
and gentle tormentation
impatient for more

staring at the hazy road
steaming manifestations
an oasis within sight

lost in the maze of thought
retro colors blaze
magnificent red and blue

guided by the sweet
scent of lust
intangible, impervious

blinded by beauty
deafened by voice
muted in enchanment

patience, patience ya ya

i am so annoyed by this saying:
patience is a virtue
hai...well, only now.. i am split by patience itself - to wait or to divulge it...
true there are benefits to waiting but i can't wait !!!
it's sooo annoying...
annoying annoying annoying

i'm afraid i'd lose something i can't afford to lose, i asked for patience...please tell me it will be fulfilled.. please be patient :) but its known already
...
haiz...
this is going nowhere

!!!!

reconciliatory process...complete

yey! i'm done, i got my old poems from my crappy blog before and posted them anew hehehe, it feels so good ...

and so everything is reconciled - watch out for the evolution.

the end of another year, another christmas

This poem was posted on December 17, 2004:

The End of Another Year, Another Christmas

here comes the merry season for some
but this only applies to them
a couple whose love surpasses
the warmth around the flame
they haven't been a year
but i've lived through all the days
jealous of their happiness
i want love just like theirs
the years just pass
the moments seem like yesterday
when was the last time that i felt
that warmth - that starry glow within?
you see them exchanging gestures
they're not holding back; no worries
taking in every bit of pleasure
its their time together
just like any other rainy day:
pouring rain from every faucet
when shall i see the light
or feel the warmth at night
spending it with family
those that love you as blood
no one there that shows up
to show desire in love
wishes come true as material blessings
to those who desire fancy
others listen, their senses glisten
wishes that come with time
i wish them good tidings
another year to come
i wish i get something for christmas
more than just milk and cookies
it's the end of another year
what road is it i'll steer
its another christmas...
the cold is already here

Uncertainty

This poem was posted on September 14, 2004:

Uncertainty

no
this aint experimental
it's something deeper in nature
something sentimental

what
does the future hold for me
a life that's sad and miserable?
a life that's happy?

finally
what's been long kept
i opened my mouth
I have sighed, i have wept

shall
i be excited in knowing such truth
my demeanor is erratic
...my undoubtable youth
will
i be happy for tomorrow
the pluses and minuses
the happiness and sorrow?

I'm
uncertain for my life
do i take the left or the right
shall i continue or shall i strife?

Neglection Hurts

This poem was posted on August 22, 2004:

Neglection Hurts

doesn't it hurt
when you don't get noticed,
when your left out,
when your neglected?
it sure does...especially
if you've done so much
for them
when you've helped them
in so many ways.
it's a sunday afternoon
the sun is wailing
the people are off
to church
but i am left alone
in my own world
doing what i do
feeling neglected
i am a giver
much less of a receiver
happiness is instilled
in my giving
neglection hurts
especially when
you expect something

Lonely Nights

This poem was posted on July 2, 2004:

A poem I made, remembering nights like these...

Lonely Nights

It is lonely nights like these:
When no one's there to care for you,
to hear your thoughtsto see you through.

It is lonely nights like these:
When the wind cools you down,and you tremble,
you yearnfor warmth that lasts.

It is lonely nights like these:
When you wish upon a starFor a life more fulfilling,
a life just perfect.

It is lonely nights like these:
When you remember your pastand make of it,
your futureLonely nights do pass.

It is lonely nights like these:
That are special to my heart
I remember who I am
I touch my inner part.

It is lonely nights like these:
When I see clear and true,putting the past behind

Do You Remember?

This poem was posted July 14, 2004:

Do You Remember?

It's been a long time now,several years have passed.
I'm all grown up now,other activities placed in last.
But putting those asidey ou're my friend.
Do you remember then,when fun wouldn't end?
Do you remember when I came over,
and we played games,we stayed up til morningtalking,
playing 'bout life and things.

I still remember how close we were,
in school and out. 2 years could have been longer.
But you had to leave.
Until now I remember you.
Those times are so vivid.
Do you remember me? I hope you do.

I still wait for the time we'd communicate
Reconciling our life's experiences.
But I have a stroke of doubt
Will we be what we remember of ourselves?

Times have changed
We've gotten farther apart.
We've done our own things gone our own ways,
played our own parts.
Anyways when I see you again,
I hope you'll remember me.
I really hope you won't forget...
some things I feel are too hard to regret.

Unraveling

This poem was posted June 28, 2004:

Unraveling

I live a life with many secrets. I dwell in fear of discernment.
I live by the grower's hopes; that day when creations portray their true colors.
Yet I look beyond the sky, amidst wailing in the depths of warm, salty rivers.
I busy myself with hasty distractions. Effective but painful...
My mind drifts with the mellowing wind; the past within my grasp.
The colors of yesterday are vivid; an unwanted regression.
Repressed emotions are unfolded at times like these.
This is not me... this is the part of me you should know.
I shall live my life by the painter's pallete
and fill the stems of the creation.
Slowly I will bloom on that magnificent day,
and distinguish the shadow not far away.

days go by

tuesdays with inna
make that thursdays too
i hope that'll come true

mondays and wednesdays
seem just as exciting
they're days when i think of you

fridays and saturdays are just to cool
though they can get boring
cause we're not together in school

sunday comes and i can't wait
it's monday tomorrow
now, i shouldn't be late

seven days of the week
there's only one for me,
its you, its you i seek

follow my train of thought

it was a monday today and it surely sucked
i thought last night that it would be the best
it wasn't as i actually expected
aside from the 'tired' feeling spun by the dying math class
it was a day which can be ignored
but not for me
to top it all, the birds hardly chirped
and the sun failed to shine... such a perfect occassion
it was as though it became too dark, dry and bitter

the traveler took another train ride home
the 'little train that could' was fueled by damp wood
if you remember the story; which i kinda despise
that little train chugged and chugged
despite dreary eyes, it had to continue, tried it's best
to see the brighter day, and reach the other side of the mountain

perhaps, it took the easy route.. you think?
i know i could - take that easy route. no wonder
i despise that story of the train that could
but i know i could, be the train that could

the damp wood took its toll on the little train
the gears squeaked, the tanks leaked
the other side seemed too far
it was so easy to give up

the faster train overtook
with twinkled eyes on everyone's look
an easy smooth ride, comfortable cabins
and nothing to worry - were all that it had promised.

but what's today got to do with it?
i really don't know... the little train was too slow
excuse me, but don't i seem too old,
you see my creaky cabins, my shy appearance
did you think i could?

but the sky was dark, i don't think that train
was even noticed... no one would notice such a figure
in the rain that followed... you'd think it was a worthless train
shyed by the towering mountains at it's side

but the little train tried and didn't care... you could see it in its face
it hardly felt the deeper courage. the thought of the end
was at every track it crossed. if only you saw it,
when it turned through every bend.

the traveler took another train ride home
and the train that could soon traveled alone
it received no satisfaction from the hardwork it gave
a little more of this would bring it home, the gears
continued to creak, the cabins shy, and the years
of days went by. the damp wood overcame the train that could.

perseverance

and the wise words are: "perseverance, dear friend, is the key..."

you're not here

today was torture for the most of it... you weren't there
you could say i'm spoiled - but it's just i can't get enough of it

is it the love? i want you actually there
talk to me...please.

you can't blame my emotions. it's now my heart that's working
i haven't decided yet. but i know i like you.

pushing me away. i don't like it. i'm sensitive
emotional. you hurt me...

forgive me for being like this. let me cry a little,
like a child who hasn't seen his mother too long

every tear for each minute passed, i miss you.
tomorrow i see you again, would you see me?

i'm sorry, you shouldn't be at fault. it's just me,
my emotions running wild; my fixation of you

i love you. i know i do. but right now i'll cry
ill cry because of you.

some long overdue poems

these were some poems i wrote when i was down a year ago...

Starry Christmas
Starry Christmas night
Angels rejoice, kings reborn
Inseperable creations cuddle by the corner,
and the forlorned gatherer sits with his flock.

Untitled
Irresistable charm
Of this virtual being
Unquenchable thirst.
The scorching flame
Of lover's lust.

indescribable

it was just a minute ago, that i last felt it
the words do go a long way

the perfect music, the deepening night
that feeling in the air... all is too much

there's much to love about it, though
it truly is indescribable, i have no words to perfectly describe it
all it takes is a count of four
and the magic takes its course